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Monday, January 9, 2012

Random Thoughts

When I started blogging. I told my self that I will  make this my bitch wall. I aim to create a place where I can vent and curse those who screwed me up, explain how bad my day was, curse those who made me feel awful and blame myself for why those things had happen. It all started when I bumped on this self help book on how to keep things calm and to manage the pressure within corporate jungle. Collated self help tips from an ally cousin of mine that truly understands and has been my confidant for quite some time now.

I'm battling depression for quite some time now, I thought I was on my way to recovery until I felt I'm going on a relapse. It all started after signing a job at this highly technical company. My everyday routine has been a struggle, taking a bath, concentrating on work stuff. Composing thoughts isn't doable. Conversation has been a struggle. Most of the time, I loose track of whats going on at the office, Healthy debates,reports and analysis slowly diminished. I lost my closest friends and had a hard time gaining some. Personal Hygiene, like shaving, and self- improvement routine has gone,To the point that I slowly lose my Identity.  

I become the opposite of what mostly people and love ones expect of me, I felt I lost my sense of Identity. It took me quite some time to realize that I'm not getting younger, at the age of 28 turning 29 I felt I missed a lot of things that I should have accomplished.

One lazy Monday, I was searching the net for answers until I stumbled upon  a number of blogs and it finally struck-ed me that It's not just me whose having that struggle. I felt the emotion on every aspect of his context, a clear connection through his thoughts and pain.. and how he tries to fight back. which made me realize that "hey, the fuck is wrong with you". I was fascinated by his writing and how his emotion overflowed and created a spark. I know I'm not alone. That spark like a string of energy flowed to every single nerve on my body. Finally.. that spark serves a courage  and willingness to get back, Now. I can say I'm ready and will take one step at a time.

I'll use this space to Thank the author for his really nice and meaningful post. Now off to bed, its Monday.
Good morning everyone.

1 comment:

  1. I feel for you bro. I know how hard it is to battle your way out of depression. But keep your faith and remain steadfast. As long you have the most important persons in your life around you, then recuperating won't be much of a problem. :)